Shira: The Vampire Samurai

On today’s edition of Crappy Movies: I watch ‘em so you don’t have to, we’re looking at Shira: The Vampire Samurai. You may remember that I was going to watch this over the weekend and I felt that, for all our sakes, I should give a quick review of this Centauri classic. First, the plot:

A half-human, half-vampire female samurai prophesized to birth a new breed of "day walking" vampires attempts to defeat the one villain who will lead his bloodsucking minions in a devastating battle to exterminate the entire human race. Shira is a warrior whose ferocity knows no boundaries, and Kristof is a vampire who knows no mercy. Legend has it that Shira will usher in an entirely new era of vampirism, and era in which these creatures can finally emerge from the darkness to stalk their prey in sunlight. Unfortunately for Shira, the powerful Kristof is ready to force the prophecy to fruition in order to realize his own diabolical drive for power. With the fate of all mankind residing in the power of one skilled female warrior, the only thing left for mortal man to do is pray. (Courtesy of YouTube)

I know what you’re thinking; “can they really cram that much awesomeness into an hour and twenty five minutes?” The answer is no, no they can’t, but not for lack of trying.

Think Blade meets Buffy, but Blade is a very small Asian woman and Giles is Mr. Miyagi’s illiterate son. They even throw in some pole dancing and a body building love interest. Our heroin seems to have some trouble talking around those fangs without spitting, which is especially entertaining during the dramatic scenes, and I kept waiting for her to drool. Combine that with some great no contact punches and a Flava Flave look alike, and you have a classic cheesy fest. So stick that popcorn in the microwave, crack open a Bud Light, and get into your comfy pants; it’s so bad it’s kinda good.

For a sneak peek, check out the Trailer